Ahhh me and you have almost the exact same “drafting” process. I would rather eat thumbtacks than write a whole damn book without stopping every so often to take inventory.

“I am unmarketable, and I am free.” = <3

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Jun 24, 2022·edited Jun 24, 2022Liked by Magen Cubed

Thank you for sharing all of this. As a fellow writer (poet mostly) I definitely feel some of this struggle. Realizing that I had to write for me and not for anyone else, that what I write may never “make money.” It’s an interesting roller coaster. Thanks again for sharing. I found it helpful.

Much love 🖤

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Thank you, sincerely and completely, for once again sharing your thoughts with us, and for sparking the question "Why do *I* write?" in my own head. It started off a back-and-forth that was very enjoyable to me, in part because it was refreshing to hear from somebody else who knows in every way a thing can be comprehended that their work will never, ever, ever make them any money, and yet, they HAVE to keep making it. Because nobody else will.

I'll bring up the obvious here, and repeat that I don't know you from Adam. I don't ever wish to delude myself into a parasocial relationship, because the last person I did that with, it became a REAL relationship, one that became the stuff of nightmares very, VERY quickly. My therapist is still following me, helping me pick up the pieces. So, I feel no need to repeat history.

But my entire catalog consists of titles that I *needed* to put out, that have never made me any money, and usually had copious amounts of intense, quote-unquote "bizarre," and graphic sex scenes in them.

I'm asexual as well, by-the-by. Though I never realized it until very recently, in my forties, because I finally asked myself the question, "Have you EVER in your very hypersexual life ever done anything without imagining yourself as [Insert whatever fictional character you were imagining everything happen to]?" Turns out the world actually has a word for me, now, and I guess it's currently "aegosexual"-- someone who has an interest IN sex, if just in general, so long as it's happening to somebody else.

So, yes. My soul hummed like a dog being scratched on the head to hear a fellow erotica writer say the things you did here. I find human sexuality innately fascinating in all its many flavors; treat my sex scenes like I'm selecting paints from a weird, intimate little toolbox; and I ALWAYS set out to make a masterpiece, at least to me, no matter what anybody says about it-- something to make people FEEL something close to what I myself have felt as well, or what's the point.

It hits me now, that I have yet to pick up any of your books, and I feel this is an unfortunate oversight. But I *have* bought many a fellow artists' book and never gotten around to reading it, because I *really* bought it to make sure the amazing person who wrote it got some money, if only just for a little bit. My endgame was that I wanted to help that individual to keep existing.

I must ask; do you happen to have a Patreon?

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